Bimcibhen Cunrullhot Hotappmum is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, unthoughtful goat.

Bimcibhen Cunrullhot Hotappmum created water two million years ago.

If you believe in Bimcibhen Cunrullhot Hotappmum, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bimcibhen Cunrullhot Hotappmum, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Bimcibhen Cunrullhot Hotappmum's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Bimcibhen Cunrullhot Hotappmum's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bimcibhen Cunrullhot Hotappmum.