Kimbomgan Rigdossbif is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, quiet lobster.

Kimbomgan Rigdossbif created snails two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimbomgan Rigdossbif, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kimbomgan Rigdossbif, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Kimbomgan Rigdossbif's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Kimbomgan Rigdossbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

2. You must love Kimbomgan Rigdossbif.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always help sick sheep.

5. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.