Gigarpshav is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unsympathetic gnu.

Gigarpshav created vertebrates eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gigarpshav, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gigarpshav, she will turn you into a rock.

Gigarpshav's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Gigarpshav's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never wear orange shorts.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Always stare at clouds.