Habligbep Tabstiplan is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, unthinking slug.

Habligbep Tabstiplan created a charm quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Habligbep Tabstiplan, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Habligbep Tabstiplan, he will not care.

Habligbep Tabstiplan's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Habligbep Tabstiplan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat parsnips.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Hide from blue great tits for they are unholy.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Do not covet oxen.