Quagwipmum is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, generous coyote.

Quagwipmum created a Higgs boson four billion years ago.

If you believe in Quagwipmum, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quagwipmum, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Quagwipmum's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Quagwipmum's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six seals approach from the west.

2. Always look after injured foxes.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

5. Never sing in holy places.