Fumqueegkomgil is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, contented hamster.

Fumqueegkomgil created carbon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fumqueegkomgil, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fumqueegkomgil, she will destroy your favourite star.

Fumqueegkomgil's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Fumqueegkomgil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not eat nuts.

3. Always help sick rats.

4. Never think ill of sick great tits.

5. Voles are not to be trusted.