Nurtmithot is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, dishonest hummingbird.

Nurtmithot created the Sun five million years ago.

If you believe in Nurtmithot, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Nurtmithot, it will turn you into a slug.

Nurtmithot's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Nurtmithot's Holy Commandments

1. Put Nurtmithot first in all things.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

3. Retreat if eight aardvarks approach from the north.

4. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

5. Do not laugh in public.