Kemquamciss is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, self-confident tortoise.

Kemquamciss created a strange quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemquamciss, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kemquamciss, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Kemquamciss' most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Kemquamciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Kemquamciss must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Never talk about fire.