Nulljatpib is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, awe-inspiring gorilla.

Nulljatpib created the Andromeda Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Nulljatpib, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nulljatpib, it will turn you into a hamster.

Nulljatpib's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Nulljatpib's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not hurt frogs.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

5. Never feed melons to doves while wearing mauve skirts.