Narlflisjab is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unthoughtful shark.

Narlflisjab created vertebrates six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlflisjab, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Narlflisjab, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Narlflisjab's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Narlflisjab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven squirrels approach from the west.

2. Always help sick whales.

3. Narlflisjab must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Never look in ponds.