Flabgesscem is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, thoughtless whale.

Flabgesscem created silver six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabgesscem, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flabgesscem, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Flabgesscem's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Flabgesscem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt doves.

2. Run away if eight tapirs approach from the north.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

5. Always wear magenta.