Narjopfig Bemlamaflamzig is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, caring shark.

Narjopfig Bemlamaflamzig created the Cigar Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Narjopfig Bemlamaflamzig, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Narjopfig Bemlamaflamzig, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Narjopfig Bemlamaflamzig's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Narjopfig Bemlamaflamzig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta gulls for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Always treat badgers with great respect.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

5. Worship no other gods but Narjopfig Bemlamaflamzig.