Catragzag is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, dishonourable dolphin.

Catragzag created carbon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Catragzag, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Catragzag, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Catragzag's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Catragzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.