Tettirawsom is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, awe-inspiring tapir.

Tettirawsom created the Black Eye Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettirawsom, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tettirawsom, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tettirawsom's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Tettirawsom's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tettirawsom.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tettirawsom.