Bagpangfun is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, benevolent tapir.

Bagpangfun created a Higgs boson two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagpangfun, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bagpangfun, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Bagpangfun's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Bagpangfun's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six zinc sculptures of Bagpangfun on top of important buildings.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never wear corsets.

4. Always help sick swans.

5. Always look after injured goats.