Bedbepmetlab is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, amazing hummingbird.

Bedbepmetlab created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bedbepmetlab, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bedbepmetlab, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bedbepmetlab's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Bedbepmetlab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair green.

2. Do not take Bedbepmetlab's name in vain.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never think ill of sick badgers.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.