Labvonkpit is a god.

He takes the form of a large, deceitful swan.

Labvonkpit created a charm quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Labvonkpit, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Labvonkpit, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Labvonkpit's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Labvonkpit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never feed pineapples to dogs while wearing cyan shorts.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.