Pagbigjabpit is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, self-confident beaver.

Pagbigjabpit created the Cigar Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pagbigjabpit, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pagbigjabpit, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Pagbigjabpit's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Pagbigjabpit's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Retreat if nine moths approach from the west.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.