Kikvonkpit is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, vain hyena.

Kikvonkpit created the Sun six million years ago.

If you believe in Kikvonkpit, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Kikvonkpit, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kikvonkpit's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Kikvonkpit's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six horses approach from the north.

2. Do not hurt monkeys.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not wear silver on your body.

5. Erect eight gold sculptures of Kikvonkpit on top of important buildings.