Arpnaktik is a god.

It takes the form of a large, tranquil turtle.

Arpnaktik created snails eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arpnaktik, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Arpnaktik, it will make you grow a tail.

Arpnaktik's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Arpnaktik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick sharks.

2. Never wear coats.

3. Hide if five cats approach from the south.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not kill foxes.