Yokjopbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, thoughtless bat.

Yokjopbaf created a bottom quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yokjopbaf, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yokjopbaf, he will remove you from existence.

Yokjopbaf's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Yokjopbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine platinum sculptures of Yokjopbaf on top of important buildings.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Never paint your legs green.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never think about cell theory.