Jamhudgovflig is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, staggering dolphin.

Jamhudgovflig created bats five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamhudgovflig, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jamhudgovflig, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Jamhudgovflig's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Jamhudgovflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Always wear violet.

5. Jamhudgovflig loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.