Pigtig is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, boastful mole.

Pigtig created a down quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pigtig, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Pigtig, he will manifest in front of you.

Pigtig's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Pigtig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Hide from yellow porpoises for they are unholy.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Erect five zinc sculptures of Pigtig on top of important buildings.