Talzakcan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, tiresome wolf.

Talzakcan created the planet Mars six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Talzakcan, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Talzakcan, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Talzakcan's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Talzakcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not hurt eagles.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Talzakcan.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not shave your face.