Nabzedxemhomnutshavmip is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, compassionate seal.

Nabzedxemhomnutshavmip created an up quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nabzedxemhomnutshavmip, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nabzedxemhomnutshavmip, it will strike you with lightening.

Nabzedxemhomnutshavmip's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Nabzedxemhomnutshavmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about mice.

2. Do not take Nabzedxemhomnutshavmip's name in vain.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always look after injured whales.

5. Hide if five aardvarks approach from the north.