Mifwiklan Wik is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, happy whale.

Mifwiklan Wik created matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Mifwiklan Wik, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Mifwiklan Wik, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Mifwiklan Wik's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Mifwiklan Wik's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Mifwiklan Wik on top of all buildings.

2. Do not speak about bread.

3. Never sit near snakes.

4. Never eat peanuts.

5. Always pray immersed in water.