Japlipgat is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, grumpy coyote.

Japlipgat created carbon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Japlipgat, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Japlipgat, he will turn you into a worm.

Japlipgat's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Japlipgat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill eagles.

2. Never talk about capybaras.

3. Never hurt horses.

4. Always look after injured manatees.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.