Hatjarnfarn is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, kind grasshopper.

Hatjarnfarn created matter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatjarnfarn, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hatjarnfarn, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Hatjarnfarn's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Hatjarnfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hatjarnfarn.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.