Yarpxuckbunsakflannib is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, idiotic squid.

Yarpxuckbunsakflannib created the planet Saturn two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpxuckbunsakflannib, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yarpxuckbunsakflannib, he will think nothing of it.

Yarpxuckbunsakflannib's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Yarpxuckbunsakflannib's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never mention badgers.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always treat ants with great respect.