Bell Zedyogbin is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, fast monkey.

Bell Zedyogbin created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bell Zedyogbin, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bell Zedyogbin, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bell Zedyogbin's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Bell Zedyogbin's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. You must pray to Bell Zedyogbin nine times a day.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Do not kill eagles.