Nartfodwit is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, contented jellyfish.

Nartfodwit created the Tadpole Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartfodwit, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nartfodwit, it will boil you in a big pot.

Nartfodwit's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Nartfodwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

2. Always help badgers in need.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Nartfodwit on top of all buildings.