Bagyimbam is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, almighty slug.

Bagyimbam created energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bagyimbam, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bagyimbam, he will turn you into a snail.

Bagyimbam's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Bagyimbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms orange.

2. Put Bagyimbam first in all things.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not dye your hair red.

5. Never think about gravity.