Butlitsom Nilgetstigflan is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, bad-tempered centaur.

Butlitsom Nilgetstigflan created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Butlitsom Nilgetstigflan, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Butlitsom Nilgetstigflan, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Butlitsom Nilgetstigflan's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Butlitsom Nilgetstigflan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

2. Butlitsom Nilgetstigflan must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Run away from pink manatees, for they are unholy.

4. Never paint your legs mauve.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.