Jigappzag Nellmobmab Shavcunjigpin is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, confident rhinoceros.

Jigappzag Nellmobmab Shavcunjigpin created light nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jigappzag Nellmobmab Shavcunjigpin, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jigappzag Nellmobmab Shavcunjigpin, it will send you a sign.

Jigappzag Nellmobmab Shavcunjigpin's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Jigappzag Nellmobmab Shavcunjigpin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

2. Always help ants in need.

3. Never think about comets.

4. Do not dye your hair red.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.