Dubpopmum is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, benevolent hydra.

Dubpopmum created time and space eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dubpopmum, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dubpopmum, he will turn you into a mouse.

Dubpopmum's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Dubpopmum's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Always help sick doves.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.