Matrensab is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, proud dingo.

Matrensab created the Sol system nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Matrensab, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Matrensab, it will turn you into a rat.

Matrensab's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Matrensab's Holy Commandments

1. Matrensab loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

2. Never eat tomatoes.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.