Sisflapstig is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, fussy jaguar.

Sisflapstig created the world three billion years ago.

If you believe in Sisflapstig, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sisflapstig, he will send you a sign.

Sisflapstig's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Sisflapstig's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never think ill of sick seals.

3. Do not wear gray clothing.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.