Davkonmutcapbet is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, quiet monkey.

Davkonmutcapbet created bats nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Davkonmutcapbet, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Davkonmutcapbet, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Davkonmutcapbet's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Davkonmutcapbet's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Do not eat bananas.