Pasnanlak is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, conceited gnu.

Pasnanlak created a charm quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pasnanlak, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pasnanlak, he will turn you into a goat.

Pasnanlak's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Pasnanlak's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Pasnanlak's priests.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Hide if nine mites approach from the east.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.