Targ is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, merciless turtle.

Targ created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Targ, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Targ, he will turn you into a tree.

Targ's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Targ's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never feed peanuts to squirrels while wearing yellow rings.

5. Never think about amino acids.