Sagwikmeg is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, all-knowing beaver.

Sagwikmeg created an electron six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagwikmeg, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sagwikmeg, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Sagwikmeg's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Sagwikmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Sagwikmeg loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

3. Run away if nine snakes approach from the east.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not make images of living things.