Larghogbeg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, all-powerful spider.

Larghogbeg created snails eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Larghogbeg, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Larghogbeg, he will turn you into a snail.

Larghogbeg's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Larghogbeg's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Larghogbeg seven times a day.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always wear mauve.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Do not wear platinum on your body.