Citcudtik is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, egotistical penguin.

Citcudtik created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Citcudtik, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Citcudtik, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Citcudtik's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Citcudtik's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never wear turquoise dresses.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always help sick gulls.