Stertalcet is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, merciless rhinoceros.

Stertalcet created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Stertalcet, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Stertalcet, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Stertalcet's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Stertalcet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.