Japbadflab is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, fast mole.

Japbadflab created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japbadflab, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Japbadflab, he will turn you into a sheep.

Japbadflab's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Japbadflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Do not wear lead on your body.

3. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never mention ants.