Larnrulvolbet is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, humorless rat.

Larnrulvolbet created a quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnrulvolbet, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Larnrulvolbet, she will throw large rocks at you.

Larnrulvolbet's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Larnrulvolbet's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Run away from violet pigs, for they are unholy.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never talk about fire.