Ruttxenduss is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, stupid spider.

Ruttxenduss created a bottom quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ruttxenduss, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ruttxenduss, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Ruttxenduss' most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Ruttxenduss' Holy Commandments

1. Always wear purple.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Hide if nine bats approach from the north.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Always help sick tapirs.