Tabbumsis is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, duplicitous cat.

Tabbumsis created a top quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabbumsis, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tabbumsis, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tabbumsis' most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Tabbumsis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Run away if four aardvarks approach from the south.

3. Tabbumsis loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always look after injured geese.