Pittiftof is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, smart hamster.

Pittiftof created the Andromeda Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pittiftof, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pittiftof, he will not care at all.

Pittiftof's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Pittiftof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Retreat if eight cats approach from the south.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not drink alcohol.