Jarnvadgam is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, flying crab.

Jarnvadgam created the planet Mars eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarnvadgam, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Jarnvadgam, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Jarnvadgam's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Jarnvadgam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jarnvadgam.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Jarnvadgam.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.